I realize that's not much of an alibi, but you must believe me when I say that I had no reason to kill #+++++++++. No reason at all." So, as you can see, I have a perfect alibi. And if you ask me, the only likely murderer in this household is that sniveling sycophant @+++++++++. Enough said?" Now, if you ask me, @+++++++++is the only person who hated #+++++++++ enough to commit murder. Maybe that's who you should be questioning!" So you see, inspector, there'sno way I could have killed #+++++++++ . . . no matter how much I may have wanted to." And I simply cannot believe that anyone in this house would have had the bad taste to commit murder . . . .Though I sometimes think that @+++++++++ is capable of almost anything." Now, uh . . . I'm not one to gossip, but I don't think you could go wrong by looking into @+++++++++'s story. There's one person who won't lose any sleep over #+++++++++'s death." So, I'm afraid you'll have to look elsewhere for your killer. Though, for your own safety, I suggest you refrain from doing too much snooping around." in a state of shock. "How did you come to suspect me! Sure I killed #+++++++++, and right here in this room. Though how you managed to figure it out I'll never know!" I suppose you assume that I killed #+++++++++ just because I haven't an alibi, but I never cared one way orthe other about that little manipulator. You'll just have to take my word." Now, inspector, I don't think you should be wasting any more of your time on me--I'm just not the murdering type. You may want to check out @+++++++++, however. Now there's a murderer."Now you really ought to be running along, inspector, though I must admit I've enjoyed our little chat. It's amusing the lengths we must go to for a little excitement in this house." So don't you think you're wasting your time here with me, inspector? Why don't you give your little investigation a boost by checking out @+++++++++'s story?" But let me tell you that I'm glad #+++++++++ was murdered. Life will be just a little more pleasant for allof us now." Of course it comes as no surprise that you would suspect me. I'm sure the others have told you how muchI hated #+++++++++. But just try to prove that I did it--just try!" I guess this thing is quite a mess, isn't it inspector? But don't you think you ought to be running along now? I suggest you do a little checking up on @+++++++++'s story." with head bowed. "I deeply regret the fact that I killed #+++++++++. I regret more, however that I was discovered by an incompetent fool who is fit only to peddle parking tickets." Now I suppose that looks bad for me, doesn't it? But you must believe that I could never have hurt anyone. And I certainly couldn't have killed #+++++++++ . . . I just couldn't." I just want you to know that Ithink #+++++++++ is better off dead. And I think everyone in this house will back me up on that. So why don't you go find another case, inspector!" You've got your work cut out for you on this one, inspector. None of us cared much for #+++++++++, and that's the truth. Frankly, whoever did it deserves a medal." Now just between you and me and the walls, inspector, I admired #+++++++++ greatly. Wouldn't want the others to know about my little soft spot though." And I'm glad #+++++++++'s dead. I would have done it myself if I'd had the chance. So don't expect any help from me, inspector!" So it's obvious that I didn't kill #+++++++++. Now why don't you let me be." Why, I didn't even find out about #+++++++++'s death until right before you arrived. Isn't it awful. Who do you think could do such a thing!?!" , grinning malevolently. "So the game is over. Yes, I killed #+++++++++. And now I'm wondering whethermurder was too good a fate. I only wish I'd taken care of you as well!" But just because I was alone, and just because everyone knows I hated #+++++++++ is no reason to single me out. Is it, inspector?" Now, with all due respect, inspector, I'm sick of your meddling. Why don't you just leave well enough alone and go back to wherever it is you came from." Far be it from me to meddle inyour affairs, inspector, but I really think you should question @+++++++++. Whyjust the other day @+++++++++ told me that #+++++++++ would be better off dead"Now I've always fancied myselfa bit of an investigator, inspector, and after a great deal of consideration I've concluded that it's really @+++++++++ you should be talking with." O.K.? Now, could you please leave and let me get back to my work? This whole affair has interferred awfully with my schedule." Actually, in my opinion, there's no one in this house with the intellectual capacity to commit murder and get away with it. Except for myself, of course. Too bad I have an alibi!"And frankly, inspector, I'm relieved to have such an ironclad alibi. There are a lot of people in this house who would tell you that I wanted #+++++++++ dead." and glares. "Yes, I killed #+++++++++, and if the others weren't here I'd kill you too. This whole investigation of yours has really put a damper on my weekend plans, inspector."So, I guess I'm your prime suspect, inspector. But I think you're going to find that I didn't have any reason to murder #+++++++++." Of course we both despised #+++++++++--but then, so did everyone else in the house. Frankly, I think you should just leave well enough alone." So, I'm sure I can't help you with your investigation. You might want to check with @+++++++++, though. There's one person who had everything to gain by #+++++++++'s untimely demise."So, as much as I wanted to see#+++++++++ dead, I just didn't have the opportunity. Now, why don't you just cross my name off your silly little suspect list and go pester someone else." So why don't you just run along now and continue this little charade with someone else." Sorry to disappoint you--my alibi is airtight. And I'm sick and tired of trying to prove my innocence to everyone in this house. Sure I despised #+++++++++, but I'm not a murderer." Now, . . . is that all you wanted to know? I really would like to go lie down if you don't mind. All of this murder business has given me a splitting headache." and shrugs. "Naturally I killed #+++++++++. It seemed the only decent thing to do--all things considered. Congratulations on your brilliant deduction, inspector!" And I'm afraid that nobody sawme. But I hope you're not so silly as to suspect me of the crime. Why, I hardly knew #+++++++++, and I certainly had no reason to commit murder." So, while I'm not exactly grieving over #+++++++++'s little accident, I simply didn't have the opportunity to have killed anyone." And let me tell you inspector,that I deeply resent being questioned about #+++++++++'s death. There is simply no way that I could have killed #+++++++++. We were much too close." So, as you can see, I couldn'thave had anything to do with this heinous crime. Now why don't you go talk to someone who had reason to see #+++++++++ dead. @+++++++++, for example." So, face the facts, inspector.I'm obviously not the person you're looking for. Now why don't you try questioning @+++++++++. There's one person who had a lot to gain." . . . I'm just so shocked by this whole affair. Murder is such an ugly business, don't you think? Of course I've heard that @+++++++++ doesn't share my opinion on that point . . ."So I guess I missed out on my chance to be the prime suspect, didn't I? It's such a shame--I would so enjoy being suspected of murder!" , bleary eyed. "I never meantfor #+++++++++ to die. Everything just got so out of control. I didn't know what I was doing. Please, just take me away from all this . . . please." And I didn't hear or see anything while I was there. I can't imagine what could have happened!" And I must say that we were both mortified to hear of #+++++++++'s death. Everyone was getting along so well. I just can't imagine who would have wanted to see #+++++++++ dead." And as I recall, neither of usleft at any time while this whole ghastly murder business was taking place. I'm afraid I just can't help you out, inspector." We were playing backgammon thewhole time. And I really don't recall hearing or seeing anything unusual at any time. The house was really fairly quiet." We were having a bit of a row ourselves, so I doubt we would have noticed anything out of the ordinary going on elsewhere in the house. Sorry I can't be of more help." So, I guess I really don't have any information to help you in your investigation. I do know, however, that @+++++++++ had some kind of argument with #+++++++++ just yesterday." We were working on some ... uh ... private matters the whole time. Frankly, I have no idea what the other guests were doing when #+++++++++ was murdered." , smiling triumphantly. "So, my dear inspector, you've found me out. Of course I killed #+++++++++, and I'm proud of it. I'm just sorry I didn't do it sooner!"
